81.

      My mother wants me to take picture at Ma Tante's nursing home. I brought my camera when we went to see her today. The people at the home roll around in their wheel chairs and pull themselves with their feet. It's quite adorable - there are a lot of interesting characters and if I wanted to really do something with them I would have to really talk to them and interact with them more. 

59.

     I went with Ma Tante to her house. We were looking for something and it was supposed to be a quick run, so I didn't bring my camera. All of these are just from my phone.
     This place bring 'pre-war' to a whole new level. It has LITERALLY been this way since the 1930's. Ma Tante has lived there all of her remembered life. We walked in and the radio was playing oldies as it always is and it smelled just like I remember when I was a kid. It's a sad reality that she has to leave it now. She's gotten to a point where she can't live alone and seeing her in her home is depressing - everything is covered in dust and she can hardly walk.

55.

      So, I'm home again and I'm just taking pictures. Once again, painting my mother as the domestic boarding house matron.
     It's pretty obvious in these that I've been looking at Edward Hopper a lot lately and he was very influential/inspirational. I don't know why they look funny - washed out and desaturated, but I didn't do it in photoshop. I don't know, I think it's kind of fitting to the Hopper feel. I need a better camera.

8.

      My Ma Tante has a little patch of green down the street from her home. Somewhere in between the old mill city and the new, somewhat shanty, city is this raspberry bush. I know that by the time I'm her age it will not be there, her home probably won't be, her street may not be but I will have the memory and the picture of that little raspberry bush.
     Is it strange that one of the only reasons I want so badly to photograph now is so that in 50 years I can show the young people of that generation what it was like for me? I am that kid that enjoys talking to old people, maybe even prefer it to people my own age, and learning what life was like in a different time. I want to be that old lady some day. I really can't wait for what I know now to be antiquated. I want to talk about the raspberry bush in the middle of one of NH's biggest cities. I want to talk about how people would hang canadian flags for the fourth of July. I want to tell them I remember when Kate married the prince.
     Everything is going to change - it must, which is nothing but frightening. I have a tendency to live in the past and I feel like I am already living in the past in the present from the future. That totally makes sense in my head. The point is, I really have to start living in the present for the present from the present.